Writing an Episode of Castle
by RGoodfellow64
Summary: The Associated Writers Group want to write for Castle


Writing an Episode of Castle

by RGoodfellow64

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Disclaimer: I do not own Castle, I do not own ABC but if I did I'd let Andrew Marlow have FULL reign on what he wants to write and produce for us.

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Recorded Transcript from the July 25th Associated Writers Group meeting. Attending, James Pekor, Carol Penny, Bryan Toosey, Eddie Richards and William Cockburn.

William Cockburn opened the meeting at 10:30 AM and asked if anyone had any ideas for a Castle script.

James: "Ok, ok, I got it!"

Eddie: "Yeah, whadda ya got?"

James: "Ok, picture it; Castle has just done something really sweet for Beckett…"

Carol: "Like what?"

James: "What?"

Carol: "Like what? What has he done sweet for her?"

James: "How do _I_ know? I haven't gotten to that part yet."

Bryan: "Shhh, everybody, let him continue."

James: "Thanks, so anyway he just did something so sweet that she can hardly stand it, and she's looking at him, you know, with those loving eyes that Stana does so well."

Eddie: "Ok, I can picture that, so what then?"

James: "Then they have one of their 'Moments' and we use about 20 seconds or so of them staring into each others eyes."

William: "That works."

Bryan: "Yeah, Jim, the fans love that."

Carol: "Ok, so what happens then?"

James: "Then…and this is where it gets good, _Josh_ shows up!"

William: "He just walks in? Why?"

James: "To surprise Beckett…he just came back from somewhere, doing something for that doctor thing he does. Anyway that's not important, what is important is he shows up early as a surprise and Beckett is thrilled to see him!"

Carol: "How come we have him show up?"

James: "Three reasons, one, it ends the eye sex, two, it reminds people that Castle and Beckett are not together yet, and three, Nathan get's to look sad and the fans _love_ that stuff!"

Carol: "Uh, Jim? I don't think…"

James: "Yeah, and Beckett will forget all about what Castle did till he leaves and then she's reminded when Josh hugs her!"

Carol: "But Jim…"

Eddie: "This way we keep all those moments happening but still keep them apart."

Carol: "But why? People want them to be together."

William: "Carol, no one really wants them together, they just want to see them _try_ to get together.

Bryan: "Yeah, I mean if we put them together what can we write then? This way we have plenty of material."

Eddie: "I don't know guys, I think Carol has a point."

James: "Haven't you people heard of 'Moonlighting'? We put them together and you can kiss this puppy goodbye!"

Eddie: "Actually Jim, putting them together wasn't the problem…"

Bryan: "Doesn't matter, the suits at ABC believe in it, so it's real."

Carol: "You're kidding, they actually _believe_ that?"

Bryan: "You better believe it! Moonlighting also ran on ABC."

William: "I think their eleventh commandment is "Thou shalt not put your stars together like Moonlighting."

James: "Yeah, and the only time they didn't follow that, the show went off the air!"

Bryan: "What show was that?"

James: "Lois & Clark."

Carol: "Oh come on! _They're_ the ones that ruined that, not putting the stars together!"

James: "Huh?"

Carol: "The creator wrote the pilot and the best shows of the first season, she had a full plan for the series to last over five years and they would not start to get together till season four."

Bryan: "So what happened?"

Carol: "The executives who controlled the money kicked her out after the first season, despite the great ratings and reviews. They fired some actors, replaced another and decided to start getting Clark and Lois together in the second season. Then there were clone Lois' and frogs and Lex Luthor back from the dead and a bunch of Kryptonians, an angel, and all that stupid stuff that the show went down hill and was cancelled."

William: "So what are you getting at Carol?"

Carol: "There is no Moonlighting curse!"

James: "If the executives at ABC say there's a Moonlighting curse, then I believe there's a Moonlighting curse."

William: "Ok folks, we've gotten off topic here, we're working on scripts we can send to Castle. Jim, you have anything else?"

James: "Well, we fill in the rest of the episode with some scenes of a body, talking to suspects and throw in Alexis or Martha to make Castle believe that Beckett really loves him, and that's a full show."

Bryan: "Then we write the following week where Beckett talks about what a great time she had with Josh when he came back and all the fun things they did and without having Josh show up we make Castle sad and the fans eat it up!"

Eddie: "That won't work. This is Castle, they may mention some small thing that happened before like maybe ten episodes later, but there is no continuity to the show. Each episode is on its own.

James: "There has to be something that is continuous in the show."

Bryan: "Josh! Well not really him, but they have to keep them apart so who knows…hey! Maybe she hits her head and has amnesia, or he hits his and he gets amnesia."

Eddie: "Yeah, we can write a show where Beckett hits her head and gets amnesia and Castle has to bring back her memories and remind her that she loves Josh!"

James: "No, wait, I have a better idea, she gets amnesia, not complete, just partial…"

Carol: "There's such a thing as partial amnesia?"

Eddie: "My wife tells me there is every time I forget our anniversary."

James: "Doesn't matter, its partial amnesia and Castle and the team along with Lanie have to help her fill in the blanks. And when she starts to hear how many times Castle saved her life she starts thinking that hey, he's always there for me and their eyes meet and they get another moment and then, ready? Bam! Josh calls!"

Carol: "What?"

Bryan: "Ok, that breaks their moment but does she remember him?"

James: "Sure…or…wait, no she doesn't, and now everyone has to tell her about Josh and how much she cares for him and Castle has to get some fresh air or something…"

William: "That's a great idea! Then Nathan can make Castle look sad and the fans will love it and the ratings will skyrocket!"

Carol: "Are you guys for real?"

William: "Carol, just what is your problem?"

Carol: "William, no one likes Josh. The fans hate him and they hate anyone who is with Beckett who is not Castle. Same with him, if Beckett isn't his girl, then no one should be his girl."

Bryan: "Are you talking about those weird shippers again? 'Cause if you are I don't want to hear what they have to say…we only listen to the real fans of the show."

Carol: "Guys, this is the ABC board, these folks are die hard fans of the show, and the people don't like Josh. They have this Sundae thread…"

James: "Carol, those aren't the true fans, we have to write for the real fans of the show, not the shippers."

Carol: "And how do you know what the real fans of the show want? We've been locked in these rooms for weeks writing scripts."

William: "Because the executives at ABC told me that's what their research shows."

Carol: "I'd really like to get a look at this so called research."

William: "All right folks, we're getting nowhere with this. We have the ideas for two scripts, Josh comes back and Beckett gets amnesia, let's run with them and flesh them out with all sorts of cop stuff and send it in."

James: "Ok, and this time if Marlow doesn't like them, kick them upstairs to those executives you know at ABC."

Carol: "Oh brother!"

William: "Ok folks, meeting's over, get to work on those scripts…and Carol, you need to change your attitude if you want to remain on this team. Keep repeating it to yourself if you need to, but remember that no one wants them to actually get together, _no one_!"

Carol: Unable to transcript response due to mumbling and possible obscene language.

Meeting adjourned at 11:35am.

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**Authors Note: Ok this is satire, please no nasty notes on how I joined the dark side or anything like that. This came to me last night as I was working on chapter 15 of Is Forever Possible, and it just struck me as funny. ABC/Disney, keep in mind that I'm a stockholder and I do vote. ;-) **


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